Written by Steddyeddy
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Tuesday, 10 May 2011

image for Arnold Schwarzenegger says he "won't be back"
"I won't be back"

Bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned-governor-turned-unemployment-claimant Arnold Schwarzenegger has terminated marriage to his wife, Maria Shriver.

Speaking to the press today, he said that he had no intention of being a barbarian about the termination, but he could no longer take the red heat created by the marriage, and as far as he could totally recall, the marriage was based on too many true lies.

He has a junior and twins from his marriage, who, when they were young, were copped at kindergarten quite often. The eldest son is, following much pumping iron and staying hungry, a fine running man, who, while he feels his father is getting a raw deal, hopes it won't turn into a long goodbye, or at the very least, a happy anniversary and goodbye.

It is hoped the rundown to the end of days will occur no later than the 6th Day, because although he feels a somewhat expendable, he wants as little collateral damage as possible to save calling the doctor to do little.

It's now jingle all the way to the bank for his ex-wife.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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