Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 9 May 2011

image for The Word Out Of Hollywood Is That Pippa Middleton Is Dating The World's Number One Porn Star Ron Jeremy
A photo of Pippa Middleton taken at a Burger Bandit in Santa Monica. (Photo courtesy of Ron Jeremy).

LOS ANGELES - Just Saying and Say What two of the biggest selling supermarket tabloids are reporting that Pippa Middleton, the sister of Kate Middleton, aka The Duchess of Cambridge is dating the infamous Ron Jeremy.

Jeremy, the world's leading male porn star has appeared in over 28,000 X-rated movies.

The man whose nickname is "Mr. 9.75," has won three Academy Awards for his films Jack and Jill and Joan Went Up The Hill, The Real Reasons Snow White Dumped The Seven Dwarfs, and Lois Lane Reveals Some Shocking Secrets About Superman.

Paprika Pittfauster, with The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette reported that a very reliable source informed her that Jeremy and Middleton were spotted in Jeremy's 2011 Rolls Royce parked near the Santa Monica Pier.

The two were in the backseat engaged in what the very reliable source described as 'Tongue Bathing.'

A spokesperson for Pippa Middleton has dismissed the rumor saying that Miss Middleton has never been anywhere near the Santa Monica Pier and furthermore she is so naive that she has no idea what the Hollywood term 'Tongue Bathing' even means.

When reached at his office in El Segundo and asked if he is in fact dating Miss Middleton, Jeremy grinned and replied that who he is dating, and where he takes his date, and what he and his date do on their date is no ones business but his and his date's.

In other news. May 9 is National Tear The Tags Off The Mattress Day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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