Gay icon and mascot of the 1970s television show 3-2-1, Dusty Bin, was cruelly assassinated this morning in a revenge attack for the killing of al-Qaeda mouthpiece Osama bin Laden.
Al-Qaeda has many tapes of TV shows from the 70s and the 80s as these are deemed less offensive than modern programming, the 3-2-1 game show being no exception.
According to files discovered in the Pakistan headquarters of Bin Laden, he felt much animosity towards Dusty Bin. Osama had picked up the nickname "Dusty Bin", which he was jokingly referred to as, by the al-Qaeda cadets.
In the event of his death, Bin Laden had ordered his most loyal followers to exact revenge on the Western infidels and destroy his most hated of game show mascots.
According to a report carried out by the police and fire services, it is believed that an al-Qaeda operative sneaked into the room where Dusty Bin was and placed a bomb inside him while he slept.
"It was terrible," explained a fire officer who was at the scene. "There were charred signed photos of Ted Rogers all over the place and the remains of several clock radios, teasmades and his-and-hers mountain bikes.
"Yeah, really terrible prizes they had on that show, weren't they."
Fellow game show mascot Mr Chips is believed to have been worried by the events, after police received a picture of him wetting his pants. This conclusion was dismissed, however, by his good friend Roy Walker, who told us, "They're close, but they're not right."
Police are appealing for witnesses of 3-2-1 to try to erase all memories of that programme from their minds.