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Wednesday, 4 May 2011

image for It's Trump v Sugar And The Gloves Are Off
The Trump Hairdryer seen here in happier and somewhat less combatitive times.

Weetabix wig-wearing megalomaniac, Donald Trump, has upped the ante, thrown down the gauntlet, stepped up to the plate and 'called out' his UK counterpart, Lord Alan Sugar, in a no holds barred bitter war of words over just which version of global television phenomenon, The Apprentice, is the best.

Trump has gone on the offensive slamming Sugar's version of the hit show as "Limey bullshit," adding "Sugar ain't got nothing compared to me. What's he got with his name written on it, eh, tell me that Bub? Exactly! Diddly squat! Nix! Zilch! Nada! Whereas I've got Trump Towers, The Trump Jet, The Trump Copter, The Trump National Golf Course; not to mention The Trump Lawnmower, The Trump Salad Spinner, The Trump Wardrobe, and of course The Trump Massively Overinflated Ego."

But the scruffy-bearded former spiv and barrow boy, Lord Sugar, real name S'ralan, is not about to take Trump's fusillade of verbal abuse lying down. It's understood that the diminutive business supremo's former aide, Margaret Mountford, has been scrambled and is on her way to America to give Trump one of her very best withering glares. The very same glare that pricked the balloon of pomposity and reduced Stuart (The Brand) Baggs to the silly little jumped-up arse wipe that he so clearly was, during the last series of the UK version of the show.

Television executives either side of the Pond can now only hold their breath and wait to see who emerges victorious in the TV showdown to end them all. It's believed that the Greek knickers and bras magnate, Theo Pahitis, could well step in to fill any power vacuum resulting in either Trump or Sugar being fatally wounded in what is sure to be a bitter struggle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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