Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 3 May 2011

image for Robert Pattinson and Heidi Montag Will Star In The X-Rated "The Naked Cougar of Cucamonga"
Heidi Montag as Shiloh Liggerbox in the film "The Naked Cougar of Cucamonga."

LOS ANGELES - The star of the Twilight movies and most recently the hit movie Water For Elephants Rob Pattinson has expressed extreme joy at the fact that he will soon be starring with Heidi Montag in Staccato Monteverdi's classic epic, The Naked Cougar of Cucamonga.

The movie will be filmed in association with Silver Screen Films and Left Coast Libido Pictures.

Monteverdi said that the motion picture is loosely based on the book by the same name by noted recovering alcoholic author Mitzi "Shot Glass" Wiggletrain, who in 2008 wrote the screenplay Attack of The Pragmatic Penguins which went on to win the coveted Gigi Screenplay Award in Paris, France.

In the movie RPattz will be portraying young Cyrus Trixpiffle, an unemployed dentist who meets the sultry, sexy, sensuously sweaty Shiloh Liggerbox, a very, very rich divorcee who has gotten a reputation for going to local nude beaches and asking young men to rub suntan lotion all over her body.

Liggerbox becomes so popular that all of the local beach boys between the ages of 18 to 28 nickname her "The Naked Cougar of Cucamonga."

The movie will premier in Beverly Hills on July 15, which is Tapioca Pudding Day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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