Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 2 May 2011

image for VH1 to Feature Bin Laden in a New Series; Behind the Mujahideen
"Behind the Mujahideen", Smoking rubber sole of horror.

Looking to pump up the ratings with another original programming series similar to "Behind the Music", cable music channel giant VH1 will expand its in-depth profile series beyond the music industry to feature great bands of another sort. The pilot in the series will be "Behind the Mujahideen", posthumously featuring Osama Bin Laden.

"We feel this will be a great way to branch out into other demographics", says VH1 programming director, Bernie Affattie. "We really think we can lure some of the History Channel's 700 viewers over to our programming with this series".

Though some of the program's format remains a closely guarded secret, Affattie offered a teaser to some of VH1's upcoming features. "Second in the series will be Behind the Moussed Comb-Over, featuring Donald Trump, followed by Behind the Mukluks featuring Sarah Palin, and Behind the Mustache featuring Geraldo Rivera and Paul Tuetul Senior, Behind the Mutants featuring Patrick Stewart as Dr. Xavier, and finally, Behind the Mucous with Naomi Campbell who will demonstrate her ability to launch loogies at police officers."

The season opener featuring Osama Bin Laden will follow his call for Jihad, and events leading up to the deployment of the Mujahideen. Training videos will feature martyrdom motivational speakers, instructional tips for living comfortably in a cave, and recommendations from a variety of shoe technicians, with their own unique commentary on how to construct a burning rubber implement of horror. "Good stuff", claims Affattie.

Affattie was seen turning to one of his aids and asking, "Anyone seen my stash? This stuff sounds more interesting when I'm baked".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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