Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 2 May 2011

image for Pippa Middleton Reportedly Fell In Love During A TSA Pat Down At LAX Airport
The jet plane that took Pippa Middleton from Heatrow Airport in London to LAX Airport in Los Angeles.

LOS ANGELES - Pippa Middleton, who many are calling the most famous maid of honor in the history of weddings, flew into Los Angeles from London on some personal business.

The Left Coast Mirror Magazine's Tequila Tallyho was able to speak with Miss Middleton for a few minutes as she waited for her luggage at LAX Airport.

Middleton, being new to the Transportation Security Association's 'Pat Down' policy got so mixed up in the hustle and bustle of the very busy airport that she somehow got herself turned around and ended up in the line of passengers waiting to be 'patted down.'

Since it was Pippa's first trip to America since the new TSA 'pat down' policy was implemented she had no idea that passengers are only 'patted down' when they are getting ready to board planes and not when they have arrived at LAX from somewhere else.

As soon as TSA agents FitzRoy Loxahatchee and Anthony Alejandro Dockenbong saw Pippa they quickly recognized her. Since TSA policy allows for only one agent to 'pat down' an individual passenger, Loxahatchee and Dockenbong decided to flip a coin; and Dockenbong won

The good-looking 19-year-old informed Miss Middleton exactly what he was going to do and he asked her if she understood what he had said. She giggled and nodded that she did.

So TSA Agent Dockenbong helped her get in position. He informed her that the way he does 'pat downs' is that he just doesn't all of sudden place his hand on a women's biscuit.

He noted that he prefers to work his way up to it by asking casual questions like what is her favorite song, which contestant on American Idol is she pulling for, and if she perfers mayo or mustard on her hot dogs.

And then he remarked to her that he counts down 3,2,1, before he touches her intimate groin region while searching for weapons, bombs, or illegal contraband.

As soon as Dockenbong got to number 1, and made contact with Pippa Middleton's 'middle part' so to speak, she let out a bit of a soft, sensual moan. Dockenbong asked her if she was alright.

She nodded that she was. He then asked her if she would like some water. She shyly whispered that she did not want any water but added that she had just fallen in love and asked for his cell phone number.

Dockenbong grinned and remarked that he was flattered as hell but that strict TSA policy prohibited from him giving out his cell phone number but he quickly told her that he would be glad to accept her cell phone number if she wanted to provide it.

She did and she made it through the 'pat down' with flying colors.

Tequila Tallyho stated that she had never seen a woman who had just gotten 'patted down' smiling as much as Pippa Middleton was.

Pippa Middleton is scheduled to make TV appearances on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Wheel of Fortune, Dancing With The Stars, and at Grauman's Chinese Theater were she will sit her ass down on a slab of wet cement.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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