Written by Honey West
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Saturday, 30 April 2011

image for Hollywood To James Middleton: We Loved Your Audition
A Sneak Peek At Jimmy's Middle

James Middleton, the brother of Kate, did a "marvelous audition" at the royal wedding with his theatrical and attention-getting bible reading, according to executives at Cinecrack Studio. They contacted Mr. Middleton immediately after his show stopping performance and congratulated him on his wonderfully sexayyy acting style, saying, "he's our new Robert Pattinson or Hugh Grant or one of those other Brit guys who talk funny."

Hollywood is especially happy to make a deal with Mr. Middleton, who is known to dress up in maid outfits and take pictures of himself with dead squirrels. "He'll fit in quite well with our crowd out hereā€¦.we really, really like him."

Insiders say Jimmy worked "very hard" on his almost Shakespearean, intensely intense bible reading because he knew West Coast movers and shakers would be watching. He confessed that he almost wet himself just thinking about it, all the cameras and important movie folks that would be out there, ready to whisk him away to the freaky clubs and hottie places where he'd love to spend the rest of his life as a great big movie star!

"Jim thinks a wedding is as good a place as any to show off his acting skills, and he did it. Nothing wrong with seizing an opportunity."

Cinecrack execs say they've already sent him several scripts, one of which is a comedy with another famous Jim - Jim Carrey. Both men will dress up as maids and laugh and run around kissing each other. Stay tuned for future details of the fabulous acting career of Mr. James "Squirrely" Middleton!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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