Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 1 May 2011

image for Chuck Lorre Says That He Has Finally Decided On A Replacement For Charlie Sheen On "Two and A Half Men"
The beach sandals of the man who will be replacing Charlie Sheen on 'Two and A Half Men.'

HOLLYWOOD - Chuck Lorre says that he did not invest an untold amount of time, money, and effort getting his hit show Two and A Half Men to the number one position on the television rankings to simply let the likes of Charlie "Tiger Blood Boy" Sheen ruin all the good hard work that he has done.

Lorre, who is the shows creator, producer, and writer, said that he had been in contact with such possible replacements as John Stamos, Rob Lowe, Woody Harrelson, Emilio Estevez, David Hasselhoff, and yes even Gary Busey.

Chuck said that he has heard rumors that "Showless" Sheen wants to return to his $1.8 million a week job. But Lorre pointed out that Oprah Winfrey would win a 50 yard dash against Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and ex-Kim Kardashian boyfriend Miles Austin before that would ever happen.

One thing that Lorre has made very clear is that he will continue with Two and a Half Men just to show the former 'Space Cadet' Sheen that they can get by without him.

Lorre was asked by TV ClickerWorld's Acktung Zumwalt who he was picking to replace Charlie Sheen. He smiled and said that after some long and hard deliberations he had decided that the best person to step into the job is none other than Charles Michael Levine, aka Chuck Lorre himself.

When 17-year-old Angus T. Jones who portrays hefty Jake Harper on the show found out about Two and A Half Men going on without Sheen he reportedly jumped up for joy hollering that he had sure missed the food catering truck.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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