Written by Reddon
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Friday, 29 April 2011

image for Huw Edwards Royal Wedding Commentary Hospitalises Thousands
Ahhhh! Pass The Sick Bucket John!

BBC commentator and Royal correspondent Huw Edwards was today blamed by NHS officials for a massive upsurge in hospital admissions with people suffering from severe cases of nausea, stomach cramps, and the screaming shits.

Apparently, Huw's fawning, grovelling, sycophantic arse licking delivery didn't really go down all that well with many people.

"He made me feel sick," said pensioner, Nellie Melba, of Newton Aycliffe, County Durham. "It started off near me stomach, and then me arse started pulsating. Forra minute there I thought I was gonna shit me sen."

"Nearly shit, she did," Nellie's friend, Aldo Zilli added. "I actually did shit me sen, and me underpants is write-offs and no mistake. That Huw Edwards has a lot to answer for. The grovelling little Welsh shit!"

A BBC spokesman said that Huw Edwards remains blissfully unaware of the widespread nausea and diarrhoea-like symptoms he has apparently unwittingly inflicted upon an unwary nation.

"Somebody ought to fucking tell him," complained an A&E patient at QA Hospital, Portsmouth. "He's turned my arse inside out. And it burns. The bastard."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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