Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 30 April 2011

image for Jessica Simpson Confesses How Her "Sex Life" Has Been Improved By Her Recent Weight Gain
Jessica Simpson back when she was weighing 119 pounds.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jessica Simpson has revealed for the first time that she can no longer get into the Daisy Duke short shorts that she wore in the 2005 motion picture The Dukes of Hazzard.

Simpson, who weighed a svelte 119 pounds when she filmed the 'good ol' Southern boy film' said that she has now gone up several sizes and could not slip into those short shorts if she used half a can of Mrs. Tuckers Shortening.

When yGossip's Cutter Shiloh asked her how much she was weighing now Jessica blushed and said that it was a little bit higher than 119.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I texted my old pal Larry King and I asked him if he knew what Jessica Simpson's current weight is and Larry did not miss a beat and replied 189.]

Simpson, 30, has a reputation for dating some high profile celebrities and sports figures including Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, singer John Mayer, actor Dane Cook, former Aflac duck voice Gilbert Gottfried, and her present fiancee former NFL player Eric Johnson.

Jessica, who has never held back when it comes to talking intimately about her previous relationships confessed to Shiloh that before she met Johnson she was slim and trim.

She then raised her eyebrows and remarked that since Eric is one heck of a 'griller' she has gained some weight due to the fact that everything that he pretty much cooks is tremendously saturated with calories, and not just your plain, everyday, run-of-the-mill calories but calories that seem to absorb gobs and gobs of carbohydrates.

Jess says that she is so much in love with Eric that she does not care that she is now starting to look like Carrie Fisher and Carnie Wilson.

She did reveal somewhat tongue-in-cheek to (Cutter) Shiloh that one thing about her ample weight gain is that it has really improved her sex life.

When asked in what way she was hesitant to say at first but then she said that since gaining all of that poundage, she no longer has to worry about her 'honey' seeing her naked and thinking to himself wow, my sweety has got some pounds on her.

Simpson said that she knows she's fat, Eric knows she's fat, she knows that Eric knows she's fat, and Eric knows that she knows that he knows she's fact so they do not have to play any of these low self-pride, low self-worth, or low self-esteem games.

She giggled and said that they just hop into bed and quicker than Weeper of the House John Boehner can cry boo-hoo they get to playing America's favorite all-time game, Hide The Salami.

yGossip's Cutter Shiloh stated that he has interviewed dozens of female celebrities but that he has never blushed more than he did in his interview with the 5 foot 2 inch Jessica Simpson.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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