Exciting news has been released that Girls Aloud - the fab foursome who don't write their own songs or play their own instruments - are getting together for a reunion to celebrate the 10th anniversary of their manufacture.
The tour, titled "TTTT" (Talentless Totty Together for Ten) will see the girls mime to their greatest hit and a bunch of other songs that were hits even before they were born.
They will also be singing their brand new instrumental song featuring Cheryl Cole solo - unfortunately she won't be solo that you can't hear her. Cheryl Cole will also be featuring yet another tattoo to make her look a complete twat when she reaches 65.
The girls decided to get back together simply because, nice girls thought they are, demonstrating such a lack of talent as they did meant they weren't really "cutting the mustard" as individual artists, although Nadine was overheard asking what "mustard" was and whether you had it with rhubarb "or wot, innit".
Issuing their anniversary CD, Simon Cowell is running a competition where, for a simple phone call (costing £8 a minute from a BT landline, other providers may charge more and calls form a mobile will cost significantly more and please ask Bill Payer's permission, or if you can't get hold of Bill ask his wife Marlene) listeners who identify the precise point on the CD where Girls Aloud sing in tune, The winner will win (or lose, depending on your point of view) an all expenses-paid visit to Amplivox for the free fitting of a top of the range, cutting-edge, leading [etc on the descriptions, please insert any others of your own here … … … ] hearing aid system and a year's supply of batteries.