Written by Reddon
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

image for Shock Royal Wedding Revelation - William Wants To Marry Kate Because She Looks Like Kristen Stewart!
Somebody's Arse Pictured A While Ago

Reports filtering through the bilge pumps suggest that the real reason Prince William was attracted to Kate Middleton is that she bears more than a passing resemblance to 'Twilight' star Kristen Stewart.

Especially in 'New Moon.'

Sources told us that the Prince has long been a fan of the Twilight saga, and that he thinks Kate is a bit of a ringer for Kristen.

"By jove, yes!" ex-school chum Tristan DeVere chortled. "Old Willsy boy has always had a bit of a slow burn on for the delectable Kristen, and Kate's almost a ringer. By the blimmin' cringe, he struck oil with that filly."

Some critics say that the Kate Middleton/Kristen Stewart comparison is a load of old exploitative nonsense which doesn't really deserve airtime.

They probably have a point.

More as we make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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