Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

image for Rachel "Bree" Oberlin, One of Charlie Sheen's 'Goddesses' Explains Why She Dumped His 'Winning' Butt
Rachel "Bree" Oberlin who comprised half of Charlie Sheen's 'Goddesses' Has Dumped "TigerBoy."

FORT LAUDERDALE - Charlie Sheen's Traveling Dysfunctional Carnival Sideshow and Ego Booster Tour aka My Violent Winning Torpedo of Truth Vs. The Losing Trolls of Lies Tour rode into Fort Lauderdale, Florida minus one of "Carlito" Sheen's two goddesses.

Natalie "Natty" Kenly was backstage, but Rachel "Bree" Oberlin was no where to be seen. A spokesperson for the man who calls himself "TigerBoy" at first said that Miss Obelin had stayed behind at Sheen's Sherman Oaks Mulholland Estate Mansion known as Casa Jose Cuervo due to a bad case of tonsillitis.

But Bedroom Pillow Talks Summersetter Faxx revealed that the truth of the matter is that Rachel Oberlin was actually staying at the Redondo Beach home of a cousin Sindee Sepulveda, who is a Los Angeles Laker Girl.

Sindee said that her cousin had just gotten tired of Sheen's constant non-stop babble. She said that "Bree" recently told her that she had never known a man (or woman) who could use so many damn words to say so effen little.

Oberlin recalled that one time while her, Natty, and Sheen had driven to a Burger Bandit in Pomona that Charlie talked to the drive thru employee for 10 full minutes and all he really said was that he did not want onions on his burger.

She said that the poor employee had to listen to Charlie go on about the high price of gasoline, Donald Trump's stupid looking hair, Jon Cryer, the reality show The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania, and Sarah "Peckerwood" Palin's female hygiene problem.

Oberlin said that the last straw was when Charlie told her that he wanted to see her and Natty French kiss each other while he ate a bowl of Cap'n Crunch Breakfast Cereal.

In geographical news. The state of West Virginia is seriously considering passing state legislation to change its name from West Virginia to the more politically correct Upper Virginia.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

3 1 11 9
31 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more