Written by Kid Icarus
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Topics: Marriage

Sunday, 24 April 2011

image for WR Brandon Marshall attacked by monster wife
Marshall's jealous wife

Brandon Marshall tells reporters from his hospital bed that he loved watching old Frankenstein movies as a child and he fell in love with Frankenstein's wife, but he regrets getting married to someone whose features resembled the mythical character.

He is recovering from surgery after his bride stabbed him in the stomach with a kitchen knife while she was drunk and high on heroine.

Marshal is expected to make a full recovery because the knife missed his vital organs. He went home on Saturday to spend time with his parents.

His wife is staying in a homeless shelter with some of the local homeless women who used to pick food out of her trash can outside her previous multimillion dollar home with Marshal.

Marshal said he plans on getting a divorce and his wife is expected to get nothing in the divorce settlement because of the great bodily harm she caused him. His wife didn't have a scratch on her and has never been admitted to a hospital for any physical injury.

The stabbing occurred when his wife found a half naked poster of Kate Moss hanging in his weight lifting room. He tried to explain to her that the poster was just for inspiration purposes while he lifted weights at night, but she didn't want to understand and proceeded to stab him with the knife.

Marshall never knew that an ugly looking woman whose nose was as big and as ugly as bozo the clown's nose also had a bitter character from being taunted for years by the public. He says his wife had a flash back and attack him violently when she thought he would leave her for a pretty blond lady.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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