Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 24 April 2011

image for Amy Winehouse Who Was Not Invited To The Royal Wedding Will Attend Anyway As A Back Up Singer For The Rolling Stones Who Are Performing At The Wedding Reception
Amy Winehouse's pet squirrel which she named after Russell Brand, 'Mr. Nuts.'

LONDON - British singer, Amy Winehouse reportedly was extremely dejected and upset at the fact that she was not invited to the Royal Wedding by Queen Elizabeth.

Winehouse, who is considered to be one of the ugliest women in the entire United Kingdom, told a reporter for Tickety Boo News that even though she was not personally invited to attend the Royal wedding she is still going to be there.

She said that she had spoken to Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger and that he agreed to let her appear with the band as one of his back up singers.

The Rolling Stones were booked by the queen herself to provide the music for Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding reception.

Neville Twickenbuck of TBN asked the queen how much the Rolling Stones were getting paid and she replied that she was paying them £300,000 [$488,000 U.S.].

She beamed with joy as she told Mr. Twickenbuck that Mr. Jagger had agreed to play her all-time three favorite Rolling Stones songs and personally dedicate them to her.

Twickenbuck asked her what the three songs were and she replied, "19th Nervous Breakdown," "Honky Tonk Women," and "Beast of Burden."

The queen giggled and said that she still recalls the first time that she heard "Honky Tonk Women." She blushed like a Soho school girl and confessed that she was 43, when the song first came out and that her and Philip were sitting in the main Buckingham Palace sitting room having a little bout of kissy kissy.

Twickenbuck giggled and asked if she recalled if there had been some tongue involved. The queen turned as red as a Tottenham tomato and replied, "A bit, but only a wee bit it twas."

Queen Elizabeth just turned 85 on April 21. And for her birthday Prince Philip bought her a small island off the coast of Guatemala.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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