Written by Floater
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Topics: Hair, Image

Friday, 7 October 2005

image for Kate Bush: New Album, New Image, Old Hair
Kate Bush - Denies Change of Image

She's not been sighted for ninety eight years, and it's been one hundred and two since her last album. Whacky chanteuse, Kate Bush is at last preparing for a comeback. Thirty seven years in the making, her new record will finally see the light of day next month in memory stick format only. All sixty two tracks are based upon traditional English bovine pub songs. Entitled "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" and infused with animal chants, the album will receive a limited release to members of her Bosnian fan club, prior to being made available throughout the rest of the Balkans. However, Kate's long suffering and patient fans in the rest of the world will have to wait until doomsday before being able to purchase the album. Stand out songs include "Old McDonald Had a Farm", "Hey Diddle, Diddle", and "Who Drank My Red Bull".

It has been rumoured that Kate lost half of her hair while posing as a Burning Bush for the album cover. However her management maintain that the photo was the original plant which Kate was nurturing on Mount Sinai during the early stages of recording. Record producer, Moses accidentally set fire to it with his cigarette butt.

Avoiding questions about her odd appearance at her first interview in decades, Kate said that a voice from the bush demanded that she spend a few years quietly as George W Bush's sister in an attempt to persuade him to attack the Ayatollah's in Iran. She only came out of her shell when George (the original Bull and Bush) missed by a letter and went into Iraq instead. Remembering that brother George had said that he needed to "mind his ‘n's' and ‘q's' ", she confirmed that he would now let her play with his wife Laura and his military arsenal. Ex President Bill Clinton looked on and smiled happily in the background. God strenuously denied all knowledge of the event.

Kate's publicist noted that it was unlikely that she would support her new material with a tour, but that she may play a one off concert in Ulan Bator this Christmas. If so, it is likely that the show will be filmed and released in DVD format through the Genghis Khan Mongolian barbeque chain.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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