Written by Honey West
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Topics: Sex, tinkerbell

Thursday, 21 April 2011

image for Tinkerbell Declared Underage - Must Be Removed
The Tinkerbell Taskforce came from this building

Tomorrowland, USA - In a massive crackdown sweeping the cartoon world, the iconic and beloved character Tinkerbell has been declared "underage" by a Washington, D.C. taskforce.

Even though she appears to have the body of a woman, her incredibly petite size and young-ish appearing features have forced her digital removal from the classic cartoon, Peter Pan.

"We were contacted yesterday afternoon about the Tinkerbell situation, and frankly have no choice but to do as ordered by the top brass. Apparently they saw something inappropriately seductive and flirtatious about "Tink" as she flits around Peter and the boys. For us here, she is of indeterminate age - all ages wrapped up into one. But to the taskforce, she's apparently about 16 or so."

It will cost millions of dollars and untold hours to remove Tinkerbell from every piece of film, artwork, and virtually thousands upon thousands of souvenirs and memorabilia sold worldwide. The government order could virtually bankrupt the company, sending it into a tailspin.

"Our only recourse is to have Tinkerbell redrawn so that she is larger, in fact the same size as all the other characters in Peter Pan, and is clearly 18 or over so that there's no doubt whatsoever that she's legal. Then and only then will she be permitted to fly around in a tight skimpy outfit with her sparkly wand, granting wishes to kids."

The government refused to comment on this matter, but indicated they'd had their eye on Tinkerbell for some time and decided to take action. Other cartoon producers are watching this landmark case closely and some have already begun removing petite fantasy females from their comics and artwork.

An unnamed source who was clearly nervous about speaking on the record said, "When they start going after Tinkerbell, you know it's really the end. I can't talk about this anymore, I just don't want any trouble. But I'll miss Tinkerbell…she is just a harmless little cartoon, ya know?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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