Written by Steddyeddy
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Wednesday, 20 April 2011

image for Alleged comedian Frankie Boyle to be the new voice of Sat Nav
Part of Frankie Boyle's Sat Nav dictionary

In a unique press reception held in the form of a swearing-in ceremony, the alleged comedian Frankie Boyle has been announced as the new voice for satellite navigation systems.

Popular systems Tim-Tim and Germain have confirmed that users can now have Mr Boyle's dulcet Scottish tones shouting directions at them through their satnav systems.

Amongst the directions Mr Boyle will be shouting include:

In 200 metres take the first ******* left
Turn left you ******
Are you a blind **** or what?
Not that way you piece of ****
Take a break you **** and have a ****
Oh go **** yourself, I told you it was ******* right and not ***** left

Frankie Boyle was said to be totally ******* at the news and is hoping he can ****** as soon as possible. Or if not, at least have a ****.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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