LONDON - Queen Elizabeth is a stickler when it comes to Royal protocol. She has instructed the official Buckingham Palace physician, Dr. Hamlet "Say Ahh" Fickleberry, 97, to physically inspect Kate Middleton for any tattoos that she may have on her body that no one but her husband-to-be Prince William would know about.
Dr. Fickleberry has been the official Royal Family general practitioner/dentist/veterinarian since World War II.
He has treated every member of the Royal Family including all of the Royal dogs, cats, hamsters, horses, guppies, and ostriches.
Dr. Fickleberry was reprimanded and placed on a two week suspension for two weeks back in September of 1999, when he accidentally removed Prince Philip's left tonsil instead of his right tonsil which was the one that was infected with a malady known as crumpetilitis
And several years ago he made the front pages of every newspaper in England when he treated Prince Charles and his wife Camilla for some mild infections which came about from some hickeys that had been the result of some frisky frolicking that the couple had engaged in on a happy weekend visit to Balmoral Castle.
Dr. Hamlet Fickleberry has literally seen more Royal body parts than any human in the history of the English Monarchy.