Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 21 April 2011

image for Country Singer Chely Wright Says She's Found The 'Wright' Woman And Lesbian Wedding Bells Will Be Ringing In August
Chely Wright (R) and her soon-to-be-bride Lauren Blitzer (L). (Photo courtesy of Ellen DeGeneres).

WILLAMANTIC, Connecticut - Country music singer Chely Wright 40, who came out of the bunkhouse closet last year and told the world that she is a full-fledged lesbianite has just announced that on August 20, 2011, she is getting herself 'hitched' as they say south of the Mason Dixon Line.

Wright showed Grilletta Brewburger of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine a photo of her soon-to-be-bride Lauren Blitzer, who was sitting sidesaddle (of course) on an appaloosa stallion.

The same-sex couple will be wed at the spacious $2.9 million home of Lauren's aunt, the quite well-off Prancer Blitzer of Willamantic, Connecticut.

Chely, who has not had a hit song since news of her sexual orientation came out, says that she does not really give a hoot (heck) if the members of the country music world have turned their backs on her just because she would much rather 'bump playpens' (crotch cookies) with a woman than play 'hide the salami' with a man.

Wright said that the only country music artists who have wished her well are Faith "Sunday Night Football" Hill, Taylor "T-Swizzle" Swift, and Little Jimmy Dickens.

Lauren says that she is really looking forward to being Mrs. Chely Wright and can hardly wait to start having babies. And she was quick to remark that no, David Crosby will not be the sperm donor.

Chely noted that Lauren is an excellent cook who can take roadkill and make it taste like a T-Bone Steak. She also said that she sews her own clothes including dresses, skirts, blouses, bras, panties, pantyhose, and bathing suits.

And if that is not enough she has even made Chely a pair of buckskin riding chaps, a cowboy shirt like the ones Hopalong Cassidy used to wear, and believe it or not she has even made her a regulation sized saddle.

Chely beams with pride as she confides that Lauren will also bake the five-tiered wedding cake including the male cake figure who will be dressed in an Old West tuxedo and the female cake figure who will be dressed in a blue gingham miniskirt and blue cowgirl boots.

After the wedding reception, the couple will immediately leave for a one week vacation to historic Dodge City, Kansas, home of the biggest covered wagon museum in the world.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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