Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 18 April 2011

image for Charles Barkley Says That The Rumors About His Involvement In A Menage-A-Trois With Cloris Leachman and Richard Simmons Are Not True
A closeup of Charles "The Round Mound of Rebound" Barkley. (Photo courtesy of Madonna).

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Charles Barkley, aka "The Round Mound of Rebound," was in Tuscaloosa visiting his old high school English teacher LaFeesha LaSamba Washington.

According to published reports 48-year-old Charles or "Snuggle Bunny" as he was known in high school, allegedly had an affair with Ms. Washington who was 58 at the time.

Charles, an NBA color analyst for TNT, just published his most recent book I'm Wrong, And I Know I'm Wrong, But I'm Too Effen Stubborn To Ever Friggin Admit That I'm Wrong Y'all.

And in the book he admits that although he did have a crush on LaLa as he called her, it was strictly due to the fact that she had some tata's on her that Mariah Carey would be jealous of.

He added that just because she used to give him a ride home on her bicycle and he would sit on the handlebars did not necessarily mean that she was sweet on him or that he wanted to get into her pedal pushers.

The talk on the campus was that Charles got nothing but 100s on his English tests and an A+ on his report card. One of his best high school friends, Dingo "Dribble Dribble" Jefferson, who is now as gay as Elton John recently stated to USA DAYBREAK that Charles was so bad at English that he did not even know what the five vowels were.

"Dribble Dribble" said that Charles used to get the five vowels mixed up with the five great lakes.

Barkley played for 16 years in the NBA with the Philadelphia 76ers, the Phoenix Suns, and the Houston Rockets.

After he left the NBA he signed on with the Limon Lemonade Makers of the Costa Rican Semi-Pro Basketball League. He played there for two years and his second year he was named The Leagues Most Fattest Player and The League's Most Darkest Player.

The supermarket tabloid Just Saying published a story saying that Barkley had been caught in the act of a menage-a-trois at a Motel 6 in Montecito Heights, California in the company of Cloris Leachman 84, and Richard Simmons 62.

Charles flat out denied it saying that he has never heard of Montecito Heights, or Cloris Leachman, or Richard Simmons.

When Just Saying asked him if he even knew what a menage-a-trois was Barkley puffed out his cheeks and said that he thinks that it has something to do with illegally betting on illegal horse races.

When Cloris Leachman was asked to comment on the allegations she took a sip out of her bottle of Jim Bean and replied that she would not be seen in the company of mad man Barkley for all the chopsticks in China.

Simmons said that he found Leachman to be repulsive but added that Charlie Barky (sic) would probably not be a bad looking fella if he lost about 180 pounds, had his nose narrowed, his lips reduced, his fingernails cleaned, and found a way to get rid of his somewhat gayish lisp.

When Barkley was told about Simmons' remarks he got highly upset and said that his fingernails don't need cleaning.

Donald Trump revealed to Oprah Winfrey that the reports that he was planning on getting a crewcut are ridiculous. He says that 90 percent of his charming charm is credited to his extensive hairdo.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 4?

3 8 21 23
58 readers are online right now!

Go to top