ST. BARTS, West Indies - Cheryl Cole who has already been signed by Simon Cowell's 19th Hole Productions to be one of the judges on his new show X-Factor flew to the West Indies resort Island with her boyfriend and future-husband Derek Hough, one of the original members of Dancing With The Stars.
Chezza, as the Hollywooders call her, expressed that she can hardly wait to start judging the talented singers like she did on the British version of X-Factor which was also known as X-Factor.
At first Nigel Lythgoe, one of Cowell's partners wanted to call the American show Y-Factor but he soon learned that there was already a show by that name on the little known Naughty Naughty Network, which deals mostly with extremely X-Rated Shows such as Barenaked Nudist Rehab, Sexploitation For Sexploitation's Sake, and So Who Wants To Be A Cameltoed Nympho?
As Derek and Cheryl frolicked flirtatiously on the beach at St. Bart's both announced that they are seriously contemplating purchasing the world famous La Brea Tar Pits and turning them into a type of Disneyland but at affordable prices.
Cheryl, who was wearing one of the skimpiest bikini swimsuits that Victoria's Secret makes, said that it is sad to see so many kids who can't go to Disneyland because of the fact that soft drinks, popcorn, and cotton candy are so outrageously priced.
Derek said that he remembers when he was a young teen that his parents could not afford to go to Disneyland so his sister Julianne (Ryan Seacrest's better half) and him were taken to an elementary school playground instead.
He said that they were given a pack of M&M's to share between them and one can of Sprite with two straws.
Cheryl started giggling. Derek looked at her and told her that it was not funny. She said that she was not laughing at him or Julianne but that she was laughing at the fact that a small sand spider had crawled up on his left knee.
Derek yelled out and jumped up about two feet off the ground. And as he did he accidentally hit Cheryl's bikini top causing it to come off momentarily exposing her astoundingly titillating tata's.
Cheryl Cole and Derek Hough were recently named 'The Happiest and Gosh Darn Cutest Couple In Tinsel Town' by The Tinsel Town Times Tribune.