Written by Floater
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Topics: London, Frog

Monday, 3 October 2005

image for McCartney's Frog Chorus Fails to Spawn in Bizarre Pop Memorabilia Auction
ex-Frog, Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney's hand written lyrics for "The Frog Chorus" have failed to sell at auction. They were tipped to fetch more than £3.00 when they were offered for sale in at a memorabilia sale in London yesterday. Sotheby's spokesman James Alexander Hackerbacker - Ponsonbysmythe said that he was "surprised and disappointed that bids failed to reach the reserve price of £0.99, but was hopeful that the pop knight's first tub of hair dye would do better next year.

Children's heroes Jeremy Fisher and Mr Toad, who were McCartney's backing singers on the record, prior to spawning their own hits with Beatrix Potter and Kenneth Graeme respectively, were rumoured to have bid for the first draft, written on the back of an Andrex sheet.

Other lots included the last toke of Bob Marley's final joint, Jim Morrison's mother's hairnet, and part time Kate Moss paramour, singer Pete Doherty. The Betty Ford Clinic outbid the UK based Priory for Doherty in a highly vigorous late round of bidding. Doherty was unavailable for comment, on account of recovering in the cells after a night on the tiles in Bognor Regis. However, his new manager Inspector Clouseau hoped that once the singer had "found his pink panther" he would present himself for rehabilitation.

Fans could also bid for Ringo Starr's new album, Keith Richards' first girlfriend and the rubber gloves warn by Bob Dylan's haemorrhoids specialist. Only the rubber gloves reached the reserve price. Dylan fan and delighted collector, His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales said that "although his clothes were dirty, his hands were clean, and it was the best thing he'd ever seen".

However, a world record bid was received for a tape recording of a jam session recorded by heavenly supergroup "Wings 2." Hendrix, Vicious, Lennon and Moon were unavailable to certify the tape; however Neil from the "Young Ones" was able to state that it was "really, really real".

Interested buyers should seek help, contact their Doctor's immediately, or have a Certified Rubbish Appreciation Product (CRAP) before Christmas. It is hoped that future auctions will take place annually on either the 29th February if it's not a leap year, or April 1st if it is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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