BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless is in a critical, but stable, state after finding out that his favourite TV programmes have been uncancelled.
Doctors say that Inhopeless, a long-time fan of surreal hospital comedy, Scrubs, fashion-orientated comedy-drama, Ugly Betty, and science/nerd-based sitcom, the Big Bang Theory, fainted in his home at 8.34pm last night, after hearing on the internet that the shows were returning to British audiences. He was rushed to Selly Oak hospital.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" he said, screaming, "NO MOTHERFUCKING WAY!"
Doctors have already diagnosed him with social paranoia, social anxiety, and TV-itis.
"Dude... this is like, that one episode [of the Big Bang Theory] where Leonard gets to go to the Large Hadron Collider. I love that episode."
However, doctors are dreading the moment they tell Inhopeless that the shows cannot be shown to him due to licensing regulations.