Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: American Idol

Monday, 11 April 2011

image for Pia Toscano Finally Speaks Out And Blames The American Idol Judges For Her Elimination From American Idol
Pia places all of the blame for her loss on Randy, Jennifer, and Steven. (Photo courtesy of Julianne Hough).

LOS ANGELES - Pia Toscano who was the odds on favorite to win this years edition of American Idol and who surprisingly got eliminated on last weeks show has finally spoken out.

Toscano had refused to make any comments and would merely smile her lovely smile when asked to comment on how she felt about being eliminated when everyone who knows anything at all about singing talent knew that she was destined to be this years winner.

TV ClickerWorld's Achtung Zumwalt caught up with Pia at a local Hank's Hippity Hoppity Hamburger Haven in Avocado Heights and talked with the stunningly good-looking Toscano.

The 22-year-old native of Howard Beach, New York said that she had to speak out because she was tired of hearing that the judges had blamed the American Idol voters for her being eliminated.

She said that she did not appreciate hearing Steven "Lips" Tyler, Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez, and Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson harp on about how America had gotten it wrong.

Pia said that the blame lies solely with the three judges and no one else. She then explained that with eleven singers still in the running they voted to use their ONE 'Save Card' on Casey Abrams.

Toscano said she likes Casey but everyone knows that he will not be this years winner. She said that had the judges not jumped the friggin gun (her word) and used up the ONE "Save Card" they could have saved her.

Pia added that she is speaking out because she does not want to hear the three judges or "Peaches" Seacrest say on this weeks show, that America got it wrong, and that America has to vote for their favorite, and that America cannot sit idly by or their favorite will be eliminated.

Toscano added that it is all about money. She stated that Seacrest always brags that 60 million votes were cast, but what he fails to mention is that the total number of people who actually voted was about 48,000.

And she said that she knows first hand, from an unnamed inside source, that there are two little 12-year-old girls in North Carolina who are in love with Scotty McCreery and that last week one voted for him 34,281 times and the other one voted for him 29,802 times.

"Piano," as her hair stylist calls her, also noted that she was told by a very reputable source in Atlanta that the Ebenezer Baptist Church which has a membership of 617 people cast a total of 3,873,907 votes for Jacob Lusk.

So if American Idol really wants to make the playing field level then they need to scrap their old voting policy of you can vote as many times as you want to a new fair policy of one person, one vote.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: But since it is all about money (ca$h) that is not likely to happen. The powers that be basically could not care less who wins since they have the contractual rights to every single one of the $inger$.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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