Written by Aspartame Boy

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Topics: The Spoof

Saturday, 9 April 2011

image for Ellis Ian Fields dials lifelines
A speeding lifeline truck kills seven on the way to 'save' Ellis

London - Ellis Ian Fields, my source, dials lifelines. Ellis started doing this when he noticed that "dials lifelines" is an anagram for his name "Ellis Ian Fields".

"What the heck. I figured I'd give it a try. I started calling life-lines, then I got addicted to it. I called them 24-7. I started to get really strange due to lack of sleep, and I said some things I regret to the nice ladies who answered the phone. I guess I caused many a false alarm at lifeline headquarters.", Ellis told me, sobbing.

After pausing to imbibe an aspartame laced drink, Ellis regained his composure. Ellis has no plans to reimburse Lifeline Associates for the wasted time spent on him.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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