Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 9 April 2011

image for Saturday Kitchen Viewers Block Telephone Lines
BBC

Viewers of the BBC's popular Saturday morning cooking show Saturday Kitchen clogged the station's phone lines today with complaints and praise.

Today's edition was shortened to make way for the annual blanket coverage of the Grand National race meeting at Aintree. This meant that there was no time for viewer phone-ins or the controversial Omelette Challenge.

Mrs Glenda Spank, of Lutterworth, told us: "I'm so fed up. Someone gave me a nice wild boar joint and I was planning to ring in to their question-and-answer bit for ideas. Well - they didn't have one. What am going to do now?

"I suppose it'll just go to waste. Into the bin with it. Shame."

However, guest chefs Anthony Demetre and Claude Bosi were spared the weekly Omelette Challenge, and this was met with delight by most callers.

Gert Screen, of Tipton, said: "Thank heaven for that. Two chefs trying to cook an omelette in less time than it takes to cook an omelette gets right on my wick - well done, BBC."

Vigilante TV Repair Man sent us an e-mail just as we went to press: "TV Repair Man welcomes the presumably temporary demise of the ridiculous Omelette Challenge.

"Wise producers would have watched and noticed the show was better without it.

"However, host James Martin is still in need of elocution lessons. His pronunciation of Masterchef - always rendered as 'masheff' - is irritating. Dangerously so for his future prospects."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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