Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for Kate Middleton, Sarah Ferguson, and Winnie Figgyfurst Attend An Amy Winehouse Concert In Liverpool
Amy Winehouse's own personal portable ashtray which she carries with her from concert to concert.

LIVERPOOL - Three of England's most well known women recently flew to Liverpool, to attend an Amy Winehouse concert.

Kate Middleton, Sarah Ferguson, and Winnie Figgyfurst had a grand old time as they sat in the first row at Liverpool's famed St. Blimey Hall, which seats 18,901 people.

Kate especially enjoyed the performance of the concert's opening act Cynthia Crockington & The Custard Kissing Tarts, who hail from nearby Thingwall.

All three English ladies had a grand time singing along with lead singer Cyn-Cyn, as Crockington is called by her maternal grandmother Helen "Freckles" Flickbecker who recently turned 98 or 96, depending on which of her relatives you ask.

And then the lights were dimmed. And the curtain started to rise ever so slowly. Smoke from the fog machine started permeating throughout the hall, 200 white doves were released and flew around the building.

Suddenly, an unmistakable voice yelled out, "Li-ver-poolllll are you ready ta get jur bloomin' knickers rocked?"

Kate, Sarah, and Winnie hollered out yes like three young school girls and the place erupted in applause, cheers, and shouts of A-MY! A-MY! A-MY!

And there, center stage, behind a cage with a full-grown leopard stood the star of the evening Amy Winehouse. She immediately started off with one of her biggest hits, the song "Rehab."

She then went into four of her other hits including, "The Crack House Blues," "Okay Who The Bloody 'Ell Took Me Bottle Of Uppers?" and her most recent song "Well It's Back To Da Rehab For Me Since Da First Time Didn't Really Seem Ta Do Diddly Squat."

After the concert ended Kate, Sarah, and Winnie were ushered backstage and got to chat personally with Amy Winehouse for about twenty minutes. Winehouse even gave Kate the actual toothbrush that she had used in "The Crack House Blues" music video.

The next day Middleton, Ferguson, and Figgyfurst toured The Beatles Magical Mystery Strawberry Rain Museum before flying back to London.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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