Written by IainB

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Thursday, 7 April 2011

image for George Lucas says he is not related to Matt Lucas
A Matt Lucas hair model, yesterday

George Lucas, the man behind the incredibly successful Star Wars trilogy and the less successful Star Wars trilogy, has come out and stated that he is not related to Matt Lucas, bald headed star of Little Britain.

"Contrary to claims," said George Lucas in a press conference, "I did not marry Miss West Virginia, Teresa Lucas, in 1978 and have a child we called Matthew. Matt Lucas is not my son, or indeed any relative of mine. I do not believe that I have ever even met either of them."

Teresa Lucas admitted that this was the first time that she had heard this rumour. "I was quite surprised when George publically announced that we hadn't had a child together," she said. "It's true, but I don't believe anybody ever said we did. What isn't true is the bit about never meeting me. We met in 1981 at a Star Wars convention. He was very charming. Unless he knew about rhohypnol back then, I don't recall us sleeping together, so us having a boy and calling him Matthew is unlikely. I am quite pleased he remembered I'd won Miss West Virginia though. That was such a long time ago."

Matt Lucas was unavailable for comment, but was said by close friend, David Walliams, to be devastated at the news that he was unrelated to the Hollywood director. He had always known his parents were called Diana and John Lucas, but secretly harboured hopes of appearing in a future Star Wars trilogy by claiming to be George's son.

"To be honest," said Walliams, "I made all that up. I don't think he's ever heard the rumour. I certainly haven't."

Celebrity watchers were also caught out by the rumour. "I think George Lucas made it up," said one Hollywood watcher. "Matt Lucas is a funny guy, who wouldn't want to be associated with him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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