Written by Floater
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Topics: Movies, Dogs

Thursday, 29 September 2005

image for Reservoir Dogs Run Free
Dylan: Lay, lady lay

The BBC, Sky, Channel 4, Channel 5 and the Arena programme, in association with Sony Pictures, The Biography Channel, Arena again, Spitfire Pictures, PBS and HBO are thrilled to announce a co-production with WHDH-TV, KACL and BobCat Movies to make the sequel to the Scorsese directed and critically acclaimed biopic "No Direction Home: Bob Dylan".

The follow up is to be directed by Quentin Tarantino and is provisionally entitled: "Reservoir Dogs Run Free: Mr Dylan". Production is scheduled to begin in 2015 with a likely premiere on Microsoft Xbox in the year 2525.

The mighty Zim has consented to appear as a virtual reality hologram to discuss his career from 1966 until his untimely future death from a publicity overdose. Cate Blanchet will provide the voiceover to Bob's dialogue.

The film will cover three basic themes post his infamous 1966 motorcycle crash. "Bob tries to save the world", "Bob tries to save his marriage", and "Bob tries to save himself". Interspersed with footage from the 156th year of his "Never Ending Tour", Bob evolves from electric punk post gospel country singer into an ageing song and dance man pealing off layers of clothing as he struggles to perform in a globally warmed world, whilst playing the triangle sitting on a commode. The search has already begun for the "holy grail" concert footage where, appalled by Bob's decision to reproduce his back catalogue as atonal nursery rhymes, a frustrated fan yells out "JK Rowling". Bob, dressed as the Fat Friar from Hogwarts, retorts "oh no, I'm not. You're a fibber!" He then demanded that the band "play effing quidditch" and launched into a searing version of "Lilly, Rosemary, Jack and Jill". Naturally he'd altered the lyrics to tell the story of a same sex ménage a quartet.

Discussing the project at yesterday's press conference and speaking through an interpreter Mr Dylan said that as he was now "knocking on heaven's door" he was delighted to finally put the record crooked and lay bare his story, warts and all, in an entirely fictitious manner while sucking on his shades. Joan Baez made one more cup of coffee for the road.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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