Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 5 April 2011

image for Kirstie Alley and Her Partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy Take Quite A Tumble On 'Dancing With The Stars'
Professional dancer Karina Smirnoff is paired with the original Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio. (Photo courtesy of Jody Foster).

HOLLYWOOD - Maksim Chmerkovskiy, better known as "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" took the entire blame for his and partner Kirstie Alley's fall on Dancing With The Stars.

As the marimba player played the music to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" Maksim picked up Kirstie's ample left thigh and was dragging it across the dance floor when all of a sudden he felt something snap and it was not in his groin region; it was in his thigh area.

And before he knew it, he was lying on the luxuriously expensive DWTS wooden floor with 236 pound Kirstie on top of him.

Maks said that he softly yelled out for her to get off of him and that she replied that she was effen trying to get up but she could not find her ankles, which had somehow gotten wedged between Maksim's upper thighs.

DWTS Host Tom Bergeron rushed to help get Kirstie off of Maks before she really did some damage to the mad Ukrainian, who surprisingly enough has been a perfect gentleman so far this year.

Not once so far this season has Maksim gotten into a name calling contest with either Carrie Ann "The Philippine Queen" Inaba or with Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman from England.

Chmerkovskiy has always liked Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli because Bruno has always said that Maksim has the prettiest looking muscles of all of the male professional dancers.

When Kirstie and Maks did manage to get up they were able to find the beat and they continued with their dance routine, albeit one could see that Maksim was in definite pain as evidenced by his making some extremely contorted faces as well as by his crazed Banshee wails of pain.

And even with the "Fall of the Season" Alley and Chmerkovskiy managed to tie for third place for the night.

Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward and his partner Kym Johnson and model Petra Nemcova and her partner Dimitry Chaplin tied for first.

Talk show host Windy Williams, who looks an awful lot like the other two Williams girls, Venus and Serena finished in last place and will probably be heading on back to the "Hood" as she refers to her Hollywood Hills mansion.

The producers of the show stated that in the event that Maksim Chmerkovskiy is unable to continue they may have to force judge Len Goodman who is 93, to take Chmerkovskiy's place.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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