Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 4 April 2011

image for Celebrity Apprentice: Meatloaf Blew A Fuse And Went 'Ballistic' When He Thought Gary Busey Had 'Stolen' His Yellow Highlighter
A closeup of Donald Trump's cowlick. (Photo courtesy of Fufusi Tispi).

NEW YORK CITY - The latest edition of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice came pretty close to turning into Celebrity Brawl, when the former singer known as Meat Loaf accused the former actor known as Gary Busey of stealing his yellow highlighting marker.

Luckily for the two the country music singer still known as John Rich, who was Team Backbone's project manager, jumped in the middle of the two dinosaurs and hardly got any spit on him at all.

The NBC censor said that he had never, in his 23 year career as head censor at the Peacock Network, ever had to use so many bleeps and blue dots to prevent the cursiferous (sic) conglomeration of curse words from being transported into the homes of middle, left, and right America.

Richard Hatch, the original Survivor winner, who is representing the gay society, became so upset with the out-of-control madman ranting of Meatloaf that he started crying and got tears on the floor causing team member Gary Busey to almost slip and fall on top of Hatch.

But luckily John Rich was able to grab Busey by his nose and prevent what could have been an ugly scene, not to mention a somewhat gayish one.

New York City detectives said that no charges would be filed since the yellow highlighter in question had been found.

Team member rapper Lil Jon, who in all the weeks the 2011 edition of Celebrity Apprentice has been on the air has only uttered a total of 19 words, had somehow inadvertently placed the yellow highlighter underneath a half-eaten Big Mac.

And so speaking of food, Meatloaf apologized to Busey. Busey went into a Shakespearean soliloquy, which most viewers were in fact able to notice had the words 'Loafy, I accept your apology' in it.

Gary did ask Meatloaf if the next time something like that occurred if he would do the gentlemanly thing and count to 713 before acting like a complete and crazed lunatic ala Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, or Dionne Warwick.

USA DAYBREAK is reporting that the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) has informed Donald Trump that if he mentions about wanting to see President Barack Obama's birth certificate on his show, he will have to provide equal time to the president to offer a rebuttal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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