According to a militant animal rights website, talk show host and stand-up comedian, Ellen Degeneres is preparing a bunny costume for her talk show Friday, April 1, 2011.
This costume happens to consist of none other than a scrumptious, health-conscious combination: a variety of vegetables. The comedian privately spoke to animal rights activist Ingrid Newspock where they had a lengthy conversation.
"I give praise to you Ellen for being such a strong advocate of animal rights. Many people look up to you and will hopefully follow in your path of vegetarianism or veganism." Newspock gushed, it seemed she had never been more pleased to talk to anyone before.
"I am true to my vegan diet and life style and feel it's more important that I dress as an animal as opposed to eating one. This is a fun way for me to get into the Easter spirit and also, this costume is a strong promotion of animal rights. I hope Jesus will bless me on Easter for this." Ellen passionately replied to her good, old vegan pal.
According to reports, Ellen's costume will consist of the following vegetables: two eggplants as ears, green beans as whiskers, a cauliflower hat, and a broccoli tail.
When asked by an unnamed reporter, Ellen stated that yes she will eat all those vegetables later on. "That's what bunnies eat!" Ellen replied enthusiastically, "I also love them because they're herbivores and are kind to their fellow animals."
On a darker note, Ellen has stirred up some controversy amongst meat lovers as some feel that her choice of fashion is a little offensive to carnivores.
"Look, I love Ellen- she's like my favourite person on earth. I just don't understand why she loves vegetables so much." Announced a confused Lady Gaga when she received a giant cake from her on her birthday this past week.
"I sometimes feel that I am oppressed by animal rights' activists because animals were placed on this earth for fashion purposes as well as for eating them, but more importantly for fashion."
Supposedly, Lady Gaga has her own bunny costume to wear as well this Easter, except unfortunately it is not made from the same material as Ellen's.
"This was all Ellen's idea to dress as bunnies, but I thought she meant to actually wear flesh. The Haus of Gaga has designed me a beautiful dress made entirely of rabbit meat."
Both Ellen and Ingrid's reactions to this announcement were horrifying and they tried desperately to talk Gaga out of it. "Gaga, I know you believe in equality for all humans, but I think all animals deserve it too. Perhaps we can start our own veggie campaign together?"
Lady Gaga responded "Alright, as long as you treat me to scrumptious New York striploin afterward".
Hopefully Ellen's costume will be taken seriously by all her audience and Lady Gaga will choose the option containing more antioxidants.