Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 29 March 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars: A Wrestler (Chris Jericho), A Rapper (Lil Romeo), and A Receiver (Hines Ward) All Score Big!
Bruno Tonioli's pet cat, Lady Lickety Split. (Photo courtesy of Richard Simmons).

HOLLYWOOD - It was an evening when the male contestants on Dancing With The Stars all really brought their "A-Game."

And when the dancing dust had settled the three top judges vote getter's were wrestling champion Chris Jericho and his partner Cheryl Burke, rap artist Romeo and his partner Chelsie Hightower, and NFL wide receiver Hines Ward and his partner Kym Johnson.

The "Three Amigos" all received scores of 23 out of a possible 30. The audience really liked Jericho incorporating some of his noted wrestling holds and moves into his dance routine including The Jericho Sleeper Hold, The Walls of Jericho, The Codebreaker, and The Jericho Flying Clothesline.

Even his partner Cheryl Burke managed to do a modified version of The Jericho Drop Kick and The Lionsault.

Judge Len "The Grizzled Grouch" Goodman said that he used to think that wrestling was fake but after seeing how big and strong Chris is up close and in person he knows now that it is 100 percent real.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli said that he positively has always loved the little itsy bitsy wrestling trunks that the wrestlers wear. Jericho was quick to correct him by informing him that only the San Francisco wrestlers wear those types of trunks.

And Carrie Ann Inaba fanned herself as she told Chris that he could put her in a sleeper hold anytime he wanted. Chris remarked, "Next Tuesday, after the results show, backstage, my dressing room - be there."

Hines Ward showed some of his Pittsburgh Steeler signature moves as he quick stepped on the dance floor as if he was running a deep pass pattern against the Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers.

Bruno liked the idea of him using his Steeler's football helmet in the dance routine, but Len, who is the epitome of the British 'grouch' said that it was all a bit much really.

Carrie Ann meanwhile wondered if he (Hines) was wearing regulation NFL underwear underneath his football pants. Bruno blushed and quickly chimed in saying that he was.

Romeo who has told some of his closest friends that Chelsie Hightower gives him some fantastic feelings in his groin region said that he appreciated Chelsie agreeing to dance wearing some bling bling that belongs to his great, great grandmother LaFonda "Smooches" Selmabrick who just recently celebrated her 102nd birthday.

Meanwhile dance contestant and tremendously endowed in the breasticles department talk show host Wendy Williams has reportedly stated that all of this fast paced dancing is having quite an effect on her tits.

Williams smiled and said that one night last week after rehearsal when she finally got home and took off her bra, both of her immense puppies ended up not-too-far from her belly button.

Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba wanted everyone to know that the Carrie Ann Inaba who was recently taken into custody at The La Brea Tar Pits for exposing her uvula to an elderly couple from Duluth, Minnesota was not her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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