Written by grimbo
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Tuesday, 29 March 2011

image for New Version of Wuthering Heights Causes Uproar

Traditionalists are preparing themselves after it was revealed that a new BBC version of 'Wuthering Heights' will contain swearing,other industrial language and will be put in a contemporary setting.

The Radio 3 production will be littered with expletives in an attempt to recreate the original shock value of the Emily Bronte classic.

While some pundits welcome the innovative take on the story, others have condemned it as a cheap attempt by the BBC to revive its flagging fortunes,

Some of the updated quotes will be :

"Who are you?" I asked, stuggling to disengage myself. "I'm come home, I'd lost my way on the soddin' moor. There's no feckin' streetlights there"

"Terror made me cruel, and finding it useless to attempt shaking the. creature off , I pulled its wrist onto the broken pane and rubbed it to and fro till the blood run down and soaked the friggin' bedclothes.
I took out the Bissell 51Y8E Oxy Pro Spot and Stain Remover and cleaned the bleedin' mess up".

"I cannot love thee, thou art worse than thy brother. Go, say thy prayers child and ask God's pardon . I doubt thy mother and I must rue that we ever reared thee. Sling yer hook and don't come back. If you set foot here again, I'll get yer sorry arse lifted and you'll spend a night in the nick. And take yer Nintendo DS with you".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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