Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 29 March 2011

image for Mel Gibson Sentenced To 36 Months Probation - The Judge Prohibits Him From Raising His Voice
Mel Gibson will not be having to go to prison unless he violates the terms of his probation. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen

LOS ANGELES - After months and months of sweating out the possibility that he could end up in prison, the judge in the Mel "From Hell" Gibson - Oksana "The Pretty Pianist" Grigorieva assault case has ruled that the "Mad Aussie" will be placed on probation for 36 months.

Judge Harkweather F. Domburi, 68, told the Australian actor that a condition of his probationary status is that for the next 36 months he is prohibited from raising his voice above the normal speaking volume level.

Judge Domburi let Gibson know in no uncertain terms that if he violates his directive with even one syllable he will have the 36-month probation revoked and Gibson will be remanded to The Captain Kangaroo Prison For Men in La Brea.

The judge asked Gibson if he understood his ruling. Gibson smiled, raised his eyebrows, and asked if that meant that he could not sing any songs.

Judge Domburi asked him if he was making fun of the court. And Mel immediately said that he was not but that he just wanted to make sure because he has always loved to sing songs by the Bee Gees and they sing in a somewhat high octave range.

The judge informed him that he would not be allowed to sing any songs whatsoever and that if he went to say a Los Angeles Lakers basketball game that he had better not get carried away and forget his directive and start yelling and hollering like the Lakers number one fan Jack Nicholson does.

Gibson said not to worry because he cannot stand the Lakers as he is a big fan of the Boston Celtics.

Judge Domburi is the second cousin of Cinderella G. Crimfowler, who was acquitted in the infamous Counterfeit Idaho French Fry Scandal of 1999.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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