Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 28 March 2011

image for Bollywood's Aishwarya Rai Outraged At Madonna's Arrogant Remarks About India
Cows in India are considered sacred so if you want a 'Big Mac' you have to go to neighboring Bangladesh to get one.

BOMBAY - One of Bollywood's most respected actresses, Aishwarya Rai, has stated that she does not appreciate the recent remarks that the former singer known as Madonna made about her home country of India.

Madonna, told the supermarket tabloid, Just Saying that when she visited India three weeks ago she was surprised to see that there are a lot of people in need of food while cows are allowed to roam all over the place untouched as if they were Central Park squirrels.

She also noted that she did not see one single Indian wearing the traditional moccasins, loin cloths, or Indian war bonnets.

Aishwarya picked up a copy of Just Saying at the grocery store and she read Madonna's remarks as she stood in line with her milk, eggs, and roti (bread).

The beautiful actress who was named Miss World in 1994 and Miss Solar System in 1995, said that the 'material girl' is just upset at the fact that she is 52, and the last time she performed at a concert only 16 people showed up in a concert arena that holds 18,000.

Madonna tried to blame it on the weather, but it was a clear evening and the temperature was a pleasant 68 degrees. She later learned that most of the people just felt that her concert tickets were overpriced at $4, $7, and $8.

Aishwarya, who is considered The Undisputed Queen of Bollywood, giggled when she said that she had recently heard Anderson Cooper say that America's number one exponent of the art of lip syncing Britney "Don't Look At My Lips" Spears wrote in her autobiography titled, The Idiot's Guide To Lip Syncing that she learned pretty much all she knows about lip syncing from watching Madonna's live concert videos.

Spears said that the key to lip syncing is to always put the microphone right in front of your mouth or else hide your lips with something handy such as a hamburger.

Britney also divulged another tip from her book that if you are going to lip sync you have to insist that the cameramen do not shoot any closeups.

And perhaps the most important rule of all, if you are going to sneeze or cough during the song, be sure and either turn around or else give the lighting director a pre-designated signal to immediately turn off the spotlight that is focused on you so that your lyrics are not heard during your sneeze or cough.

Aishwarya Rai has stated that she feels sorry for Madonna because so many people think that she and David Letterman are sister and brother because they have the same pronounced tooth gap.

The ironic part is that everyone knows that there is certainly no love lost between the two since Letterman calls Madonna the female version of Donald Trump in the hair department and Madonna calls Letterman the human model for Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman.

In other news. The president of Panama has informed the United Nations that he has had a change of heart and his country will not be invading Australia after all as they had planned on doing back in mid-January.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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