LONDON - Industry experts have decided that Black is a much worse teen sensation than Bieber.
"At least Bieber had a semblance of talent," said Mark Wright, "his homemade YouTube vids show that. But Black... just came out [of nowhere], and somehow she's more of a trending topic on Twitter than Japan or Gadaffi. What the hell is the industry playing at?"
Her hit track, 'Friday', which deserves to be reviled, is simplistic of simplism, with lyrics like 'Thursday is before Friday', 'get to the bus stop, get on the bus' showing how stupid it is. Add on the fact that the song is heavily autotuned.
At least Bieber's hit, 'Baby', had differing verses, and he can actually sing half-decently.
Many social scientists groan at the fact that this will be the ultimate in kid-friendly pop for the now.
"Seriously?" said Dr. Sarah Stack. "There are hundreds of better ideas and more fantastic things to sing about for kids, and this just takes the... I've lost the will to live."
There have been reports of children and teenagers being abducted by music labels in order to record the next 'big hit'.