Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 24 March 2011

image for 'Who's next - me or Queen Elizabeth?' wails despondent Zsa Zsa Gabor
Ms Gabor in a bath tub beauty session today

Los Angeles - A chilling Hollywood prophecy describing the world's greatest actresses 'in karmic freefall all the way to the crem' has seen Zsa Zsa Gabor hospitalised for shock.

The 94 year-old diva was first told of the prediction by Nancy Reagan's astrologer nearly 30 years ago.

"I thought it was rubbish at the time, dahlink" Ms Gabor informed publicist Lonny Gibralta this morning, "but now it's me who hasn't a leg to stand on."

Gabor's personal decline may have started in 2007 when husband Frederic Prinz von Assfelt claimed to have fathered busty blond bombshell Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn.

The boast soon proved to be a dud - but the toll on Gabor's health was rapid.

Tonight the astrological world ordure of demise precedence has been revised to include 'the world's greatest ever actress' Elizabeth Windsor, followed very closely by former First Lady Nancy Reagan.

"Zsa Zsa's not due until April 1st," LA FagHagSlagMag's resident stargazer Cosmo Pulpit commented in his online column today.

Joan Collins is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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