LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell's 19th Hole Production Company is on the verge of signing a multi-million dollar contract with Ricky Gervais and Kathy Griffin which will give the two razor-sharp tongued devils their own talk show.
Gervais and Griffin who are both noted for their take-no-prisoners brand of humor have each expressed that they would love to be co-hosts.
A spokesperson for Cowell's production company Ludwig Stanwix, remarked that he has spoken with both Mr. G and Miss G and both are anxious to ring the bell and get the world of verbal boxing on the air.
As of now the talk show is tentatively called Warning: We're Talkin' Hardcore Venom Folks!
When "Jaws" Gervais and "Red Cougar" Griffin were asked by iGossip's Cutter Shiloh to describe each other Kathy said that Ricky has a very strong cockamamie accent; teeth sharper than any Pacific Ocean shark in existence; a big, chubby, white face that looks like a marshmallow on steroids; and an obligatory glass of hot beer in his hand.
She added that he has a very pronounced lisp which he is somehow able to hide when he is on the air. Griffy grinned and said that Gervais does not realize it but when he starts talking fast like an automatic weapon he begins to spit and he has actually been slapped by four women and one guy (?) for that; Ke$ha, Nancy Pelo$i, $elena Gomez, Richard $immon$, and Queen Elizabeth.
When Ricky was asked to describe Kathy he giggled and said that Levi Johnston's former bitch has about 1,700 freckles, most which she manages to hide with the help of Industrial Maybelline.
He then laughed like Joan Rivers does at all of her own jokes and said that La Griffin has red hair, and he coyly confirmed that her 'carpet' does not match her 'drapes.'
He then pointed out that the "Red Cougar" has the most hideously-looking deformed ear lobes he has ever seen, along with crow's feet that more resemble ostrich feet.
Rick The Quick, as his high school sweetheart called him, then added that "Chatty" Kathy also possesses what is probably one of the biggest Adam's apples ever found on a woman who is actually a biological woman and not some transgendered girly guy like Chastity/Chaz ProBono.
When Gervais and Griffin, who have been dubbed by the shows producers as, "The Demonic Duo" were asked who they would like to have appear on their show both answered in unison "That Ann Coulter bitch!"
One could clearly see that "G & G" can hardly wait to get a hold of their prey, ah I mean guests. And as Cutter Shiloh of iGossip noted the "The Tyranical Tag Team" will be like a couple of crazed cheetahs chasing down poor helpless gazelles.
Other gazelles, I mean guests, that the shows producers hope to book include Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin, Gilbert "Foot In Mouth" Gottfried, Kanye "The Pest" West, Kate "Graceless" Gosselin, Chris "The Spoiled Brat Bro" Brown, Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio, and Naomi "The Queen of Mean" Campbell.