ALTOONA, Pennsylvania - FOX Network talk show host Glenn Beck, was in Altoona speaking before a crowd assembled in the parking lot at a local McDonald's.
He was explaining why it is that he seems to cry so much. He pointed out that he along with Speaker of The House John Boehner and former NFL quarterback Brett Favre have been voted as the three cryingest men in America.
Glenn "Baby Tears" Beck stated that he is not going to wait around for the "F" Network to fire him when his contract expires at the end of the year.
So he is making arrangements to form his very own cable network along with the ex-husband of Sandra Bullock, Jesse James.
Beck noted that they have tentatively named new network The New Nazi Network or 3N.
Glenn and Jesse are two of the biggest Nazi memorabilia collectors in the entire nation. Together they have more Nazi artifacts, relics, mementos, and souvenirs than the entire Official Nazi Museum located in Tres Arroyos, Argentina.
Jesse even has the German Nazi motorcycle sidecar that he and girlfriend Eva Braun used to make whoopee in on their second date in the parking lot of a Wienerschnitzel located in Hoppegarten.
Beck and James are really excited about their new venture. When told that Oprah Winfrey's new network OWN is not doing very well in the ratings, Glenn responded by saying that he and Jesse are not at all concerned about that because they know from their emails, tweets, and Facebook entries that they have thousands and thousands of supporters.
Glenn said that he has personally received letters and emails from supporters from as far away as Juneau, Alaska; Flagstaff, Arizona; Oshkosh, Wisconsin; and even one from Nappytown, Kamgooganda.
Jesse James is still denying the rumors that started back in October of last year that his IQ is 63.