Elizabeth Taylor (RIP) has just died and one of her last wishes was not to join ex-hubby, Richard Burton, in heaven (he's too busy reciting "undermilkwood" over and over again), she only wants to be reunited with Michael Jackson; because she felt the whole planet thought he was a paedo and she knew differently, he was just a tiny bit gay, maybe?
Elizabeth believed he really was a reincarnation of Peter Pan and her only desire was to star in a heavenly leading role alongside Jacko, riding National Velvet hand in hand with him riding a Unicorn on the pristine beaches of God's heaven.
She didn't want anything to do with her roles as Cleopatra, a cat on a hot tin roof, Virgina Woolf, or Lassie's partner (woof, woof, he's in doggy heaven too), "meeting James Dean again would be nice, he was gay too," she did mention!
Elizabeth is assured of a heartfelt welcome from God, she made a couple of mistakes in her life, marrying a curly-headed parasite, nobody construction worker called Larry (who?); but basically she was alright and God forgives nearly everybody apart from Rock Hudson, liar.
Yet another film icon passes over and the world will feel the loss of a true actress, who really could act, RIP Elizabeth and enjoy your bare-back riding with Jacko.