Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 March 2011

image for Kirstie Alley Shocks Everyone With Her Amazing Dancing On "Dancing With The Stars"
Maksim Chmerkovskiy raises snakes and he has given this one named "Tango" to Kirstie Alley.

HOLLYWOOD - Kirstie Alley has probably pulled off the biggest dancing surprise of any celebrity contestant in the twelve season history of Dancing With The Stars.

The former star of Cheers and the movie series franchise Look Who's Talking is paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy who last year had a 'volcano-iceberg' dancing relationship with Brandy.

Kirstie admitted that at first she was very leery of being Maksim's partner because of his reputation for being mean, cruel, arrogant, sarcastic, pompous, and basically a first class SOB.

But when she met him she quickly learned that he is not really mean. She laughs and says that she did tell him that the first time he yells at her she will kick his onions so hard that his voice will go higher than Jerry Seinfeld's.

She also mentioned that if he really pissed her off she would sit on him and not get off of him until he promised to write her a check for $200.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Kirstie Alley has gone from weighing 409 pounds down to 236 pounds, which amounts to a weight loss of 173 pounds in only three months. She says her goal is to lose 34 more pounds and get down to 202.]

Kirstie and Maks danced to Ceelo's "Forget You" and the judges really praised them. Bruno Tonioli said that Kirstie was floating around the floor like she had stepped in a pile of duck (blank).

Len Goodman remarked that it had been decades since he had seen a woman her size dance as if she was as skinny as Disney star and fellow female dancer Chelsea Kane.

And Carrie Ann Inaba told her that she knows that she had made other big full-figured gals like Wynonna Judd, Carrie Fisher, Oprah Winfrey, Conchata Ferrell, and the biggest full-figured gal of them all Gabourey Sidibe very proud.

Kirstie told TV ClickerWorld's Achtung Zumwalt that she really and truly feels that once she gets her weight down to 202 pounds that she has a darn good chance of getting herself a man who will love her for her and not because of the fact that she has lots and lots of money.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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