Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 18 March 2011

image for Kristen Stewart Denies Making "Off-Color" Remarks About Naomi Campbell
Naomi's pet snake 'Salsa' which was a gift from 'Dancing With The Stars' dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kristen Stewart one of the stars of the Twilight series has stated emphatically that she did not make any remarks that would be considered to be "Off-Color" in regards to Naomi Campbell.

It appears that Campbell, who is known as "The Queen of Mean" told a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight that she did not appreciate the Twilight trollop making insulting remarks which she allegedly heard from her hair stylist stating that Naomi needs to use a deodorant that is a little bit stronger than the one she is currently using.

Campbell angrily stated that she will admit that she does have a bit of a tendency to sweat quite a bit, especially if the temperature is up around the high 90s, but that her sweat never smells.

She pointed out the fact that she has never heard any of her past boyfriends even once say that she did not smell pretty and that includes such well-know individuals as Gerard Butler, Usher, Prince Albert of Monaco, and P Diddy, aka Puff Diddy, aka Diddy Dirty Money.

The London born Campbell who is black has a noticeably British accent that comedian Ricky Gervais recently described as being weird as hell - kinda like Nicole Kidman speaking with a Shoshoni Indian accent.

Kristen Stewart remarked to 3T's Skippy Viperwater that Naomi the diva is so racked with guilt over the way she mistreats her personal employees that she has developed an inferiority complex defense mechanism in order to ward off the feelings of insecure insecurity that have been ravaging her ever since she was voted "The Meanest Woman In History" by the states of Wyoming, Vermont, New Mexico, and Mississippi.

Stewart will be appearing on an upcoming edition of Piers Morgan Tonight to once again dispel those ever-persistent lesbian rumors regarding her and Vanessa Hudgens.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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