Written by wadenelson
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Topics: London, Cocaine

Monday, 19 September 2005

image for Kate Moss seriously injured in Menage' A Quattro
Wholesome girl next door? NOT!

London -- First Vince Neil, lead singer of Motley Crue breaks his leg with a fall from the stage. Now, supermodel Kate Moss, already dealing with a raging cocaine habit, was reportedly "seriously injured" while attempting to perform an intricate maneuver in a "Menage' a Quattro last evening. According to an unnamed individual, "Pete [Doherty] accidentally pressed the button to close the sunroof on the Audi Quattro they were, you know, 'in.'

According to the eyewitness, who claims to have been a "back seat driver" during the ordeal, "Kate was sorta upside down and had her legs hung out the roof of the vehicle and draped over the windshield when the accident occurred. "The snapping sound -- its something I'll never forget. But she was so high on coke, I don't think she felt a thing. Poor supermodel. They had to take a gun and put her down.

Moss had reportedly pulled off numerous menage' a trois successfully, with her friends Sadie Frost and Davina Taylor. This was her first attempt at four, in a parked vehicle.

According to General Motors spokesman Meloy Sparks, "For that kind of tomfoolerly we recommend the Hummer H2. It's got a cavernous interior, numerous tie-downs for any restraints you need, and a rear view big enough for a Mirror photographer to get a usable shot.

The model reportedly had a threesome with Frost and her ex-husband Jude Law, after Law became jealous of being left out. A station wagon with the rear seats folded down was used for that encounter. According to the Tabloids Kate has had a Menage a Porsche, Menage a Lamborghini, and a Menage a Hotel Room.

According to her friends, "Cocaine is like liquid panty remover on Kate. The blow goes up, the clothes come off. Hey, even an ugly guy could score with a supermodel like her if he had enough Columbian."

Supermodel Moss, who everyone seems to agree is not a particularly good role model, was recently involved in another public scandal involving large amounts of white powder. "It wasn't baking soda.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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