Written by Nick Hobbs
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Tuesday, 12 July 2011

image for Justin Bieber Waxwork Put In Compromising Position, Whilst Star Wears Socks In A Bath Of Baked Beans And Goldfish, Eating Chilli While Charlie Sheen Looks On From A Deckchair
Goldfish, used predominantly in self-defense.

Pop-star Justin Bieber was honoured earlier this year, when a waxwork model of the young superstar was unveiled, much to the joy of his adoring fans.

The famous house of wax celebrities where his effigy stands suffered a break in last night, though police say nothing was stolen. The trespassers seemingly just wanted to pose certain models in compromising and often amusing positions.

"The butt of the joke appeared to be pop nugget, Justin," said Met police spokesman Ted Bundy, "he was stripped naked and placed prostrate over the back of a sofa, whilst Humphrey Bogart was stripped to just his socks and sat in a bathtub of cold baked beans, seemingly watching him perform some weird trick with a pineapple."

Bogart was positioned holding a spoon to his mouth, filled with chilli. It's not thought Bogart was a particular fan of chilli, so the significance of this is unclear.

The pranksters had also thrown a handful of goldfish in to the tub, possibly in an act of self defense.

Representative and curator of the museum Peter Sutcliffe told us "the scene was horrific. Funny, but horrific. And Charlie Sheen just looked on from his deckchair from over the other side of the gallery. It's probably nothing he hadn't seen before!"

Head of the 'Waxwork Appreciation Society', The Zodiac Killer, went on to say "whoever did this wants shagging in the arse sideways, with a banjo! How dare they tarnish young Biebers reputation, and how dare they think they can desecrate a sacred home like this?"

Cleaners were dispatched to repair the scene, before opening to the public again tomorrow.

Head cleaner Jeffrey Dahmer said "it's a mess, I don't know how we're gonna get baked bean juice outta Bogey's white jacket! And the pineapple juice has had rather an effect on the back of Justin's legs."

Police continue to hunt for the pranksters.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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