Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 15 March 2011

image for The Bachelor: Brad Womack Picks Emily Maynard Over Chantal O'Brien - But There's Already Trouble In Paradise
A photo of two South African television stunt women who appeared on "The Bachelor."

HOLLYWOOD - This year's Bachelor finale was filmed in beautiful South Africa, but the producers may just have thrown away their money and are probably now wishing they had filmed it in La Brea or La Habra instead.

Many felt that Brad Womack was going to choose Chantal O'Brien. But Womack threw most viewers a curveball and ended up choosing Emily Maynard, aka the little bitty Barbie Doll.

Most regular viewers of the Bachelor were surprised, even Woody The Wonder Woodchuck who had successfully picked each of the previous 14 winners correctly, missed on this one.

And host Chris Harrison even stated off-the-record of course that he had actually bet $35 on Chantal.

So Brad Womack of Austin, Texas proposed to Emily Maynard of Charlotte, North Carolina. And she of course replied yes as she is required to do by the stipulations of her ABC contract, page 17, paragraph 3, lines 4 and 5.

But alas fair knights and knightesses the wedding bells have not rung and it appears that they won't be ringing anytime soon.

According to Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine, who was the first publication to interview Brad and Emily together after the shows finale, the happy couple has been arguing and fighting on several levels.

For one thing Emily does not like the fact that Bradley cries way too much for a man. He cries when the Texas Longhorns lose, he cries when the Houston Astros lose, and he cries when the Dallas Cowboys lose.

And on the other side of the engagement coin, Brad pointed out that Emily snores like an Oregon lumberjack. He also noted that her butt is covered with nine tattoos ranging from a a logo of the NBA Charlotte Bobcats to a tattoo of Mickey Mouse, one of Bambi, one of Barbie, and even one of Charlie Sheen.

Left Coast Mirror Magazine will keep in touch with both Emily and Brad and provide its readers with the latest on the soap opera they are calling 'As The World of Brad and Emily Turns.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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