Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 17 March 2011

image for Brad Pitt Makes An Astounding Revelation and Says That His Gifts From Wife Angelina Jolie Have All Been Homemade
Brad Pitt has stated that the way Angelina Jolie is getting tattoos she will run out of tattoo space in 13 months.

NEW ORLEANS - Brad Pitt is in the city they call the "Big Easy" working on the latest installment of the Indiana Jones series of motion pictures entitled Indiana Jones - The Search For The Alternative Lifestyle.

The film is based on the book of the same name by noted lesbian writer Coquet Eucalyptus and also stars fellow actors Harrison Ford, Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Diamond, Lou Diamond Phillips, and Neil Young in a three minute cameo singing the Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young song classic which he wrote "Ohio."

Pitt sat down with a reporter for USA DAYBREAK and said first off that he wanted to clear up the rumor that has been going around for several months regarding his wife's vajayjay.

He confessed that yes she did in fact have 'it' vajazzled in Hollywood at a cost of $1,300. He said that when he asked her what she wanted for Valentine's Day she immediately told him that she wanted to have her (blank) vajazzled.

Pitt then said that in the five years that they have been together he has presented Angie with countless gifts that were extravagantly expensive.

He said that he has bought her exquisite diamonds which were mined in South Africa, luxurious jewelry made from gold found high in the Andes Mountains of Peru, and expensive ruby encrusted bracelets from rubies found hidden among the vast reaches of the Petrified Forest.

And what wonderful gifts has Angelina Jolie, one of the richest actresses in Hollywood presented to him?

Brad smiled and made a startling revelation by saying that for his 37th birthday she gave him a seat cushion that she had fashioned out of 80 or so old discarded lipsticks.

He then said that for this past Christmas she gave him a shirt that she had made out of about 70 pairs of worn out socks that belonged to their six children.

And going back three Christmases ago, Angie gave him a bronze sculpture which had been done of her tits. He said that when she gave it to him she acted as if she had just presented him with the original Magna Carta document.

Brad says that he is starting to realize that his and Angelina's marriage has not only hit the rocks it has started taking on water, lots and lots of water.

He reportedly told a reporter for the French publication Le News that his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston is starting to look better and better with each new movie that she appears in.

In other news. Wall Street in an effort to be politically correct will soon change its name to Off The Wall Street.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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