Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 19 March 2011

image for Simon Cowell Has Told Cheryl Cole He Wants Lindsay Lohan To Be An "X-Factor" Judge So Bad He Can Taste Her (Ah Make That Taste It)
A photo of Paris Hilton who has given Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan some great advice. (Photo courtesy of Ricky Gervais).

HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell the CEO of 19th Hole Productions, which owns American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Britain's Got Talent, England's X-Factor, and The Stand Up Comedians Rehab has expressed to Cheryl Cole that he would love to have Lindsay Lohan sit along side them as a judge on his new show X-Factor.

Cowell said that with Lohan as one of the judges he knows that the ratings would be even higher than they are already going to be simply because he knows that "LiLo" has quite a following on Facebook, Twitter, FaceTwit, and TwitterThis.

Cheryl told Simon that she totally agrees with him and not just because he will be paying her $16 million [£10 million U.K.].

Chezza went on to say that if Lohan agrees to be an X-Factor judge it will probably be her saving grace. She grinned and said that it will certainly keep her occupied and prevent her from getting into any more trouble than she has already gotten herself into.

Simon informed USA DAYBREAK that he would be willing to pay Miss Lohan $8 million [£5 million U.K.]. He remarked that with Lohan it would most certainly be a win-win situation.

The former American Idol judge, who is known as "The Sultan of Sarcasm" remarked that Lohan gets paid a lot of money. She gets to stay out of trouble, which means she gets to keep her cute little freckled butt out of rehab clinics, or worse prisons which are jam-packed with lesbian convicts who look a little like Venus and Serena Williams, Kirstie Alley, and Conchata Ferrell.

Paris Hilton who is no stranger to rehab clinics and prisons herself reportedly texted Lindsay with a message saying "TTXFJJB!" When asked to explain what those letters stood for Hilton popped her chewing gum and replied, "Take the X-Factor judges job bitch!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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